Why don't I feel any better?
by Ravenspark
Summary: Short story set after episode 'hurt' do not read if you haven't watched it yet! Arcee attempts to console Miko, but finds it a little dificult.


Why don't I feel any better?

" Then the giant lizard knocked the giant python down and smashed a load of buildings in the process making the it seem it was like the end of the world then the lizard fought back-"

" Miko…"

" I know! 'Bulkhead can't hear me' but he still would have wanted to be kept updated about the latest creature double feature- his missed it yesterday, and he was really put out." Miko said indignantly, not turning to look at Arcee. Miko sat in the same place she had been for the last few hours, seated above Bulkhead's chest. Arcee sighed, letting her shoulders hang loosely. She approached closer, and paused to look mindlessly at the monitors displaying Bulkhead's vitals. The reflection of her sad blue optics shone back in the screen. She turned her gaze back to Miko, who had brought her legs together, and sat staring at Bulkheads face, as though, any minute, he would wake up, and they would be rocking out to their favourite music…. Arcee came to sit on the medical berth to the right, trying to not look at Bulkhead. She turned her gaze to Miko, but found it just as painful.

" Miko…what exactly happened… while you were with Wheeljack?" Arcee asked, trying to be delicate, but finding it difficult. Optimus had said she needed time, but something in Arcee said she needed consoling, and that maybe, Optimus's advice, no matter how true it may be, seemed to far removed from the current situation. Arcee felt intervention was needed, and even Jack had suggested something along the same lines as well.

Miko didn't seem to respond to the question, even turned her head away slightly. Arcee feared she had gone to far, and wished she had listened to Optimus-

" We got revenge on the insecticon who hurt Bulkhead." Miko said quietly. Arcee was quietly shocked.

"We went to an energon mine belonging to the decepticons, and Wheeljack smashed a few of them. He them contacted Megatron, and demanded to see hard-shell."

" Hard-shell?"

" The insecticon. He came, and they fought outside another energon mine. Wheeljack set the autopilot to take back to base if anything happened. But…he was nearly scrapped, so I…I pressed the weapon key…and killed hard-shell." It went silent for a while, and Arcee couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had expected Wheeljack to have taken the insecticons spark…not Miko…She shouldn't have been anywhere near him or the decepticons. What was Wheeljack thinking? Not only had he endangered her….Why hadn't Miko gotten a ride with agent Fowler? While Arcee directed her anger towards Wheeljack, Miko turned to the blue femme.

" Arcee?"

Arcee looked at the young girl with deep sympathy, as she left her thoughts behind momentarily.

" Yes?"

" Why….why do I not feel any better?"

Arcee was stumped. She had little idea of how to answer such a question. As Arcee searched for an answer, tears ran down Miko's face.

" Miko… don't cry. It will be alright." But Arcee wasn't even sure. Ratchet was doing his best, but it seemed as though it did little to improve Bulkhead's condition. Arcee placed one of her servos on Miko's shoulder, but the human girl shrugged it off.

" You've lost partners. Surely you got revenge too, right? Why don't I feel any better?" She sobbed, looking at Arcee, her eyes bearing sadness that Arcee had never wished to see in any of the human children. But Arcee had never been so taken aback. Jack hadn't even been so forthcoming on the subject. Arcee hadn't taken revenge…not by killing. She came close to killing Starscream, but Bumblebee had been there, and reminded her of the monster she was becoming, making her stop. When it came to Airachnid, is was the spider's words… _When you extinguish my spark, make it hurt, you know I would extend the same courtesy to you. _She hadn't wanted to satisfy the spider's request. But, even having not done so, no matter how many times the others deemed her stronger for it, she still felt the pain.

" Miko…It doesn't fell better because… because it hasn't brought Bulkhead back. That's what you hoped for, wasn't it?" Arcee said, feeling Miko's sadness. Miko nodded between her sobs.

" I… haven't actually taken such a vengeance as you have…so I'm afraid I can't answer you question with a truthful answer. All I know, is that, revenge doesn't bring those you hold close back." Arcee said softly. Miko felt betrayed. Surely Arcee had been able to relate to her, maybe even have supported her decision. Her question was left hanging.

" Miko, I'm-"

" Just leave." The human girl said. Arcee looked down to the floor. This hadn't turned out the way she had planned. Arcee got up left quietly. There was nothing more she could say or do. As she walked to retire to her own quarters, she found Optimus standing just down the corridor. He had no doubt heard everything. She suddenly felt guilty; she should have listened.

" Optimus, I-" He held up a servo to silence her.

" You did what you thought was right, that I cannot punish you for." Arcee felt little than relieved, and looked back over too Miko and Bulkhead.

" I couldn't answer her question." She said, sighing deeply. Optimus placed a servo on her shoulder.

" Sometimes, we can't have the answers for everything, as much as we would like to." He said, looking to the young human girl. " But we can try, and perhaps she may find the answer herself." He said, trying to reassure her. Arcee nodded. Miko's frankness about her own partners were awakening things she didn't want to remember right now. Optimus sensed this, and let her retire to her quarters. Once she was gone, Optimus watched the human girl continue to cry. His spark mourned for her, and prayed to Primus that Bulkhead would recover, and that Primus would protect and guide Miko too.


End file.
